I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
time to smoke my breakfast
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
