Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
