Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
