It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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