You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
