we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
