I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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