I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
