you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
