i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
