ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
