My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
