Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
