We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
