Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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