i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
