I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
