Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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