It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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