my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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