She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
