Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
