This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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