so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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