if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize