i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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