and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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