I smell stomach acid.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
