Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
