is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
