he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
