I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
