Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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