I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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