im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
