proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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