so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
