nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
