READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
