Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
