I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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