sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
