just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
