he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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