I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize