ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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