Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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