just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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