You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
