I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
