she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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