ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
