My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
