No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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