He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
