Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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