She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
