I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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