Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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