The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
